Ugh!!!

So it is Saturday night and I am sitting at my dads house with nothing to do. I have no one to blame but myself. Tonight is Sadie Hawkins and I wanted to go but I was to shy to ask anyone to go with me and by the time I found out I had today off it was to late to ask anyway.

For some reason this month hasn't been so great, well actually the past few months haven't been so great. Why you ask? Well the answer is, I don't really know. I mean yeah there has been a few things that have made me a little upset. Mostly stupid reasons but they are there. Like one of my "good" friends decided to go to Sadie Hawkins which is great. But the thing that bothers me is that the past few years we have decided to go to some of the dances, but right as it came about time to start asking people she would back out. The thing that bothers me most though is that when her other friend suggested going to Sadie Hawkins this year she was like oh yeah lets do it blah blah blah. She didn't even ask if I wanted to be in the group, but they added a bunch of other people. And they would sit there during class talking about everything they are going to do and how much they can't wait. This friend and I used to be "best" friends and if you ask her she says we still are. Would a best friend back out on all the plans we made together but jump at the chance to do the same plans with someone else? I don't know it just makes me feel bad.

And lately i feel as if I have no friends. I know that sounds ridiculous but its true. I don't talk to anyone and when I do its like they aren't even interested in the conversation. I feel like the only thing I am good for is driving people around. But what good does that do me when all I am really doing is wasting my gas and spending my money. Gosh and during lunch is the worst because I am just sitting there yes with some "friends" but we don't even talk, it wouldn't be any different if I was sitting by myself. I think what gets to me the most is when I look on facebook and see everyones pictures with all of their friends and see how happy they look.

And then there is the whole boy thing. I don't even know what to say about that. You know, I work at the airport and I see a lot of cute guys my age, most of which work at the airport, but the only ones that come and talk to me are the old guys. Not that there is anything wrong with that but its not like I want to go out with old people. Seriously it feels like no one MY age likes me or even knows I exist. Even worse though is when a cute guy my age does say "hi" I don't know what to say and when I do say something it sounds really stupid. And it doesn't count when family says I am pretty, because they have to say that its not like one of my family members will come up to me and say "hey your ugly" no if they say anything at all they say "um yeah sure your pretty."


Ugh sometimes I truly just feel like screaming, but I don't I just sit around and smile and pretend everything is just PEACHY, which is my new response to everything for those of you who haven't noticed. Anyway I really can't wait till high school is over and I go away to college and meat new people. People who have never met me before, and don't know about all the stupid things I have done such as spilling my drink all over Wendy's (which was really funny, yet embarrassing at the same time). I guess you can say I am just ready to start over.